The Name Game
By Lopa Patel (May 2000)

Why do we saddle our offspring with ridiculous names? As any parent will know apart from having the child - naming it is the most difficult of tasks. Firstly, for gujaratis at least, is the determination of the 'rashee'. This is a combination of first letters that you can use for your child's name based on the heavenly constellation of stars at the time of the baby's birth.

The 'rashee' usually comprises useful letters like v and y. The onerous task of proposing the name typically falls on the paternal sisters. A guaranteed measure to create marital strife.

'The connection between a name and its bearer is so intimate that there is for all practical purposes a question of identity, and it be should be given in a well considered way and should denote the personality of its bearer', says the book 'Thought Provoking Hindu Names' by R C Dogra and U Dogra.

In the UK there is the delicate issue of pronunciation. European tongues find sounds like a soft 's' as in sweet and 'ti' without a harsh 'T' hard to master. So names such as Aashit are literally pronounced as A s**t! Poor Madhuri Dixit ends up being a Dick s**t! and Trushit ends up as a True s**t! Apart from the mortifying pronunciation the relative emphasis on the syllables is bound to be worse. The name 'Anal', which means fire in Hindi, needs no explanation!

However, our strife doesn't end there. The name Kirti is spoken as Curty and Priti is pronounced pretty. God help you if you are less than so. The name Priti, of course, opens the door to name calling such as 'pretty ugly', 'pretty dumb' etc. School children are often the worst culprits at name-calling that may explain why so many Asians are choosing western names.

A rash of 'Jay's', Kiran's (Kieran), Dhru's (Drew) and Maya's amongst the junior school set can be forgiven, although some parents are going to absurd lengths. A friend tried to convince me that Rachel was a Sanskrit name and that Aran is derived from Arun! If one searches hard enough maybe Matthew, Mark, Luke and John are derivations of ancient Sanskrit names!

Herein, lies the problem. We try to adhere to an eastern culture that inspires us to give our child a name with meaning and a western culture that dictates an English sounding name. 'Hindus believe that there exists a link between the name and deeds or course of life of the divine or human being. Therefore a good name represents goodness'*.

Even if one chooses delightful names such as 'Anand' that means joy, happiness and supreme spirit in Hindi, there is only one guarantee - the named individual will definitely dislike it. Help is at hand though. The 'Thought Provoking Hindu Names' book suggests the following. 'A boy's name should begin with a consonant and have an even number of syllables. A girl's names should have an odd number of syllables with a long 'a' or 'i'. Got that so far? 'The adoption of a second name (Ram Das) is assumed for success and distinction in life, or to show patronymic or metronymic reasons like Mohandas Karamchand (Ghandhi). A name should be easy to pronounce, not hard to hear, of clear meaning, charming, auspicious, or should contain some blessing.'* Based on these criteria, it's surprising we have any name at all!

Of course, having chosen a name we then proceed to shower a host of nicknames on our off spring that are ever lasting. 'Babu', 'Toto', 'Papu', 'Munno', 'Tinku', 'Kakuli' and 'Pinku' all hang about far longer than they should. One cannot forget the famous Kapadia sisters - Simple and Dimple. I always wondered if a third sister would have been called 'Pimple'? And of course there is the delightful Twinkle Khanna.

Indeed some people are only ever known by their nicknames. The short name 'Jaz' applies to Jatinder, Jagjit, Jasvinder etc. 'Harry' often passes for Hemant, Herinder, Harish or Harishankar. 'Barry' for Bharat, Balvant or Bhaskar. 'Kaz' covers everything from Kaushik to Kavita. 'Jigs' is the alter ego for Jignesh, Jignasha or Jigisha. 'Ash' covers a multitude of sins from the fateful Aashit to Ashwin & Aushita.

Some have given up completely and just call themselves Tommy, Ben or John even when their birth name bears no relation. A few brave people have even chosen to their change officially. This may help in secreting an embarrassing name, but, 'curries little favour' if it disguises your true identity. It can be worrying for some if you appear Asian and yet have a name such as Jane Smith. Does it engender distrust one wonders? Or do you merely do yourself a dis-service?

The name game has its own fashion eras - one can detect a hint harking back to old-fashioned names such as that of Aishwarya (power or supremacy) Rai and Karishma (Miracle) Kapoor.

Personally I love the multi syllable names wallowing in consonants like 'N', 'T' and 'H'. Surely a ruse devised to trip up cricket commentators? Take the Sri Lankan cricket team. At the time of writing this article, the team comprised Arjuna Ranataunga, Gallage Pramodya Wickramsinghe, Indika Sanjeewa Gallaghe, Muralitharan Muttiah, Aravinda Pinnaduwage DeSilva, Romesh Shantha Kaluwitharana, Samantha Indika De Saram, Sanath Teran Jayasuriya and my favourite, Tillekeranthe Mudiyansilage Dilshan. Perhaps someone can teach me how to pronounce the last of these names should I ever meet the player concerned. Does he have a nickname?

* Thought Provoking Hindu Names with meaning and explanations by R.C. Dogra and U Dogra. Published by Star Publication (PVT.) Ltd of New Delhi. ISBN 81-7650-013-5. (1998) Available from Amazon Books.